How Do I Stop Being So Afraid?

If your starting point is “I’m going to stop being afraid” then remember, that is impossible. Part of being afraid of things is in the nature of us as human beings. Fear is a really valuable guide to help us navigate our way through life and make decisions based on what feels intuitively right or what feels fearful / what doesn’t feel ok.

What we have to start to recognise is that there are valid fears and invalid fears. We will fear things that feel unfamiliar, where change is afoot and where we find ourselves on certain ground but that doesn’t mean it is the wrong thing for us. It’s under those circumstances that we need to challenge the fear, push through and be brave. Then, there are other circumstances where we intuitively feel fearful and we feel scared because there is a real threat to either our emotional or physical wellbeing and it’s under those circumstances that we really need to pay attention and trust that intuition to guide us into making decisions that keep us safe.

Recognising the difference between the two is much of the battle because then you’re not fighting fear itself, you’re getting to know yourself and recognising some of those limitations that you have in your life.

Sometimes when we feel really fearful of something different or of taking a different path in life, we feel scared because we have a very strong critical voice that is setting us up with lots of obstacles to prevent us from moving forward. When we can identify those obstacles and look at the origins of them then we can unpick some of those critical thoughts that we have about ourselves and it frees us up to make braver choices in life.

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