We have all experienced trauma throughout our lives. What’s really key isn’t necessarily being able to “recover” from the trauma, it’s our response to the trauma that’s really significant. We get into difficulties when we experience traumas and we’re unable to process them. We get very stuck and then we develop narratives about our lives that can be damaging and destructive as a result of those traumas. So no matter how well we are and how resourced we are, we are going to find trauma difficult when it comes up in our lives. What is essential are those tools that we’ve developed to be able to cope with it.
One of the things that you can 100% do is to make sure that you’re really well resourced personally so when something difficult does come up in your life – which is inevitable – is that you feel confident in being able to deal with it. If it’s difficult or if it makes you feel sad, that you’re able to feel that sadness without feeling that you need to repress or control it somehow. Or if it brings up anger, that you’re able to express that in a way that feels safe and held, with boundaries. It’s really up to us to create parameters of those safe boundaries rather than trying to control our emotions in response to the traumas that we might experience.
I believe that we can recover 100% from the traumas that we’ve experienced. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we can look back and suddenly not find those experiences painful or difficult. When I look back on past traumas, the experience is painful and difficult but I don’t feel wounded by them today. I don’t feel like I am carrying a heavy weight today as a result of them. I feel that they’re processed, that I’ve been able to move on and that is possible for all of us.