“How do I motivate myself after going through a really big change in my life?”
This is something so many people can relate to – trying to find motivation to literally put one foot in front of the other when you have gone through a difficult time or had a big trauma or just even a massive change. A big shift can leave us feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed about how to take those next steps.
My experience of working in the clinic is that the next steps that people focus on are often huge.
They have such high expectations of what it is they can do and what they can achieve. It just becomes really demobilising and paralysing because they are such big goals; people can’t take those first steps towards meeting them, which results in them feeling like a complete failure. It perpetuates this negative cycle that we find ourselves in where, because the goals are so high, we end up doing nothing and procrastinating, making us feel awful inside.
First of all, rather than setting ourselves such huge tasks and massive expectations, we need to create baby steps. Those baby steps may not seem that significant but added up, that’s what facilitates a big change in our lives and that’s what helps us to gain momentum for motivation. Motivation is one of those things that once it starts, it is a bit of a snowball effect and it grows. Creating those baby steps is really positive.
Look out for what your motivational triggers are.
Do you find that spending time with certain people is motivating to you?
Do you find watching certain videos or reading certain books really gets you fired up?
Whatever it is, make a note of it and do more of it. Start to spend time with people; start to create more experiences in your life that are helping to keep you on track with what it is you are trying to achieve. If you find that being around certain people zaps your energy or if you find watching certain things makes you feel really low, then you have the control to stop doing it. The good stuff has bigger energy and makes us feel better. It is a lot easier to focus on that and to get motivated when we are surrounded by positive energy than it is when we are in scenarios that are really draining our energy.
Vision boards, I think, are the biggest motivational tool. (Click here to learn more about vision boards and how to make one). Put your vision board up somewhere where you are going to see it every day and have it as a source to inspire and motivate you. Don’t rely on just one thing to do that though! If you are listening to music or having coffee or lunch with a friend who really support, motivates and inspires you, AND you’ve got your vision board up, you are kind of coming at yourself from lots of different angles and it is helpful for you to stay on track and to keep a positive mindset.
So many of us settle for less than we deserve and what we end up doing is waiting, waiting and waiting:
“I will do this when I feel better”
“I can make a start on that when it is the right time.”
There is never that perfect set of circumstances that makes those things possible for you. Today is the best day to start.
Today and this moment is the best time to feel good about yourself, to start backing yourself to change things. You can light yourself up and put that fire beneath you. Manage your expectations – don’t expect yourself to take over the world straight away! Put those baby steps in place because if you achieve something small every day then those things stack up and those things, as I said, begin to facilitate a massive change in your life and will make you feel better about who you are.
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